my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have post one night stand depression
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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