Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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