The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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