Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
