I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
