my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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