so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
