Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Come see our sink grown plant.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
