I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
