is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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