I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
