i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
