It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We are two peas in an std pod
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize