It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We are two peas in an std pod
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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