you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
