summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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