Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
