I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Even my vagina gasped.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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