Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Found your dick twin last night
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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