it wasn't lemon gatorade
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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