Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
