North Korea, Best Korea!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
