If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize