We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
