I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How external is "for external use only"?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
