well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
high people should be assigned attendants
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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