i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
