i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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