are you still at the devil's house?
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
