Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize