paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
