If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
