I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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