im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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