i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
