I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize