No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
