Moan for me like Helen Keller
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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