He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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