Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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