I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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