hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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