I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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