He asked to "fluff my boner.."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
