Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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