I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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