ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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