She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She's the barista slut.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
