how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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