I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize