M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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