It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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