The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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