He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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