so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
