i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
