I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
