my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
