what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
