Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
