I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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