Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
