I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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