Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
