i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
