I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
