that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
