I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
