Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
