my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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