i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm at about main and main street
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
